EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS

A friend sent this to me. Pretty funny but don’t get any ideas. LOL!!!

> 1) “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.”

> 2) “I would not allow this employee to breed.”

> 3) “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.”

> 4) “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”

> 5) “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”

> 6) “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”

> 7) “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”

> 8) “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”

> 9) “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

> 10) “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.”

> 11) “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”

> 12) “A gross ignoramus…144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”

> 13) “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier…”

> 14) “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”

> 15) “He’s been working with glue too much.”

> 16) “He would argue with a signpost.”

> 17) “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”

> 18) “When their IQ reaches 50, they should sell.”

> 19) “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”

> 20) “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”

> 21) “A prime candidate for natural de-selection…”

> 22) “Donated his brain to science before he was through using it.”

> 23) “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”

> 24) “He’s got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”

> 25) “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”

> 26) “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”

> 27) “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”

> 28) “It’s hard to believe he beat off 1,000,000 other sperm.”

> 29) “One neuron short of a synapse.”

> 30) “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”

> 31) “Takes him 2 hours to watch ’60 minutes’.”

> 32) “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s